Random Reflections Pt8

27. There was a recent warning about an obesity “pandemic.” My dictionary defines that (pandemic) as a wide-spreading, near universal disease. When did making the conscious decision to put more food into your mouth than needed become a disease? Seriously here folks, if I choose every day to slam my head in a car door, do I have disease? If I choose to drink water to excess every day, do I have a disease? If I choose to spend 16 hours a day playing Donkey Kong, do I have a disease? NO! I’m choosing to do something that I know is bad for me, and I’m doing it anyway.

Everyone knows, if they eat to excess, they’re going to get fat. It’s a fact of life people, get over it. It is a choice that they make. It’s not a disease. Again, my dictionary defines disease is an ailment afflicting the body, caused by infection, environment, heredity, or diet. Note the diet isn’t the disease, it can help cause the disease.

Calling it a disease is the sunshine-and-bunny-rabbits way of letting those people who eat themselves towards diabetes, strokes, and heart attacks off the hook. It’s not a choice anymore, it’s a disease. You don’t weigh more than a Honda Civic because you ate 6 Big Macs, 5 Fries, 4 Cokes, 3 Pies, 2 Onion Rings, and the partridge in the pear tree AT EVERY MEAL – it’s a sickness you have. It’s not your fault – you can’t choose to get sick with SARS, influenza, or obesity. Go eat another 3rd world country’s GNP in Snicker’s bars, you’ll get fat or you won’t. Don’t worry, be happy!

28. As I write this a major flight somewhere in the United States has been diverted. Not because of explosives found on board, not because a 50 year old “student” from Saudi Arabia with razor-burn tried to set his shoes on fire, not because Grandma realized the wire in her undergarments didn’t set off the metal detectors at the TSA groping checkpoint, but because…wait for it…an unclaimed Blackberry was found on board. Oh the humanity. I expect much rending of clothing and wearing of sackcloth will be seen on the nightly news. A major flight, chock full of people who have to go somewhere, maybe jobs, maybe vacations, maybe to see their ailing cousin twice removed have been detoured and detained for hours because a phone was found without being attached to the side of someone’s head.

If you can’t find the owner, give it to a flight attendant. Bonus. Or just press redial and ask the person on the other end, “Who did you last speak to?”

Note: My reaction would’ve been different if said Blackberry had been found attached to an ominous looking pile of whitish silly putty. There’s a difference between reasonable fear and freaking out – something a lot of people would do well to learn. A little responsibility goes a long way, especially when so few people are in possession of it.

29. Would you, if possible, help a person getting mugged on the street? I think we all would, that’s basic human decency – “help out your fellow humans” is ingrained into our minds. Now, upon dousing said mugger with a RAID sized can of pepper spray and picking muggee’s wallet up off the ground, would you call the robber back if you found that wallet to contain a sizeable stack of hundred dollar bills? I doubt anyone would. Would you choose NOT to help that person if you had prior knowledge that they were rich? Again, probably not? Why?

Shouldn’t that rich person contribute a little bit to that misfortunate youth, driven to a desperate act by a life of poverty and minimum wage jobs? Shouldn’t that rich person have to give more than the rest of us, I mean, they have so much more, they should feel absolutely compelled to give it to that mugger to help him along in life…

Editing out the words involving crime from that last paragraph, you have pretty much verbatim the “hate the rich” position of the majority of this country and the world. This boggles my mind, this hatred of material gain through hard work, or the hard work of one’s ancestors, or intelligence, or simple dumb luck. If I make a lot of money, it is MINE. NO ONE has ANY claim on it whatsoever, for any reason. IF I am feeling charitable, I will do something to help someone else. My possession of MORE does not give anyone else the right or privilege to take my property and redistribute (remember, all laws involve the threat of violence) it to those who have less. The same goes for any money my parents would leave me – they didn’t work hard and save so that some jackboot could come along when they’re dead and gone and take what they wanted me to have.

My money is MY MONEY. YOU may NOT have it simply because I have more. Yes, that is selfish. Anything else is theft. At threat of violence, don’t you forget. You wouldn’t come try and knock me over and take my wallet *snicker* so don’t try and have someone in government do your dirty work for you. You want my money, Molon Labe.

Come and get it.

30. Why do companies call yellow cake mixes “Moist yellow” cake mixes? Do some companies sell “Incredibly dry yellow” cake mixes? Are there moist WHITE cake mixes? If all yellow cake mixes are moist as they are advertised, doesn’t that mean that none of them are special by virtue of being moist?