Tales From Retail Pt6

6.When last we left the good (or would he prefer “bad”) Rev, he was giving me grief for not processing his CD purchases for his Satanic church as tax exempt.

Fast forward. It is now January, and we have hours before been informed that we are going to be closing our gates forever in just a few weeks. Not only that, but our store is going to be occupied by a women’s clothing store, which sets everyone’s teeth on edge.

So. With a few days left before the clock strikes midnight, who should come waddling through the door, but the one man guaranteed to cause a few laughs…Rev.

He rolls his girth up to counter and demands that we refund the discount card that one of our staff forced upon him…back in September. A few words on his discount card. He’d used it between then and now. He’d benefited from it. He had renewed it of his own free will for the fourth year in a row back in September.

He doesn’t have a receipt. He has no transaction number, absolutely nothing to make our job of returning this discount card any easier. And he’s being a jerk about it besides – making repeated references to how we knew about closing long in advance (back in September, if he was to be believed), we forced him to take it, we lied about not closing the store, we’ve been lying to everyone who comes into the store, and isn’t it humiliating to be run out of the mall by a women’s clothing store.

I said no, I wouldn’t return it. I said I’d go get another manager. That manager said no, and laughed at this fat, little lisping ball of indignation. The assistant manager gets called, and after all three of us listen to Rev whine and carry on, she finally returns it to get him out of the store. She shouldn’t have.

The next day, he came in, grabbed a Texas Chainsaw Massacre DVD, and ran out with it. Aside from making me extremely mad, I find that quite funny - this little blob of Danny Devito shaped lard bobbling out of the store like a bat ouf heck with a DVD tucked under his arm like a running back. I wasn't there, but I can picture it greatly.

Oh yeah, and he tried to cast a spell on the store manager.

So I start work at my new job (the one after the cell phone gig), and according to the store manager (who had come over a few months before from my old job), Rev is now shopping there, complaining loudly and vociferously “I’m thick of thith. I’m thick of the way you treat me here.”

No matter what he’s doing when next I see him, I’m calling the managers and reporting that he stole something. Even if he didn’t.