Last night was Homecoming Night for the majority of local schools. As such, we had a groups of people moving the store in funny clothes. The guys are dressed like crap mostly, the girls to the nines.
Last night across this city, hundreds if not thousands of kids around my age were out celebrating. Opposite genders on each others arm, if not in love with each other, then very much in like, dressed in expensive finery, partying, enjoying being alive young animals.
Kinda gnaws on me. Not only did I never do that, I'm out of school now and not in a school where such things occur. I'm not ever gonna know what that's like.
Instead of being "out" I sat in the basement and loaded rifle rounds (1500 of them, to be precise) into 30cal spam cans from 11pm til 1am, while watching Saving Private Ryan.
If I hadn't been melancholy enough, my funk only deepened around 1am when I'm stacking the boxes in the workroom. I look at this big pile of boxes, 45ACP on the left, thousands upon thousands of rifle rounds on the right, and the thought flashes through my head: "Who will I be when I open these boxes?"
I buy what I shoot. I've got 2000rds per rifle right now, soon to be decreased to 1000 per with the addition of 3 new rifles. This is purely backstock. I have no intention of shooting any of it. It's there just to have. From now on, I'll buy a K or 2 per year, shoot that. I have no plans for shooting any of the stuff I have packed away.
Which means those boxes won't be opened for years.
Who will I be when I open those boxes and load up guns from the contents?
Will I be moving them into a house of my own? Will I be selling off that ammuntion for extra money? God forbid, will I be handing it over to someone? The next time I open those boxes, will it be under duress?
Each and every round is packed by hand, alternating every other round, stacked one upon another. The pile of boxes in the workroom is representative of hours and hours of my time. I'm 21 now. When will I be handling those rounds next?
Why will I be handling those rounds next?
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