Class today, teacher gave us a list of ten, we were supposed to write down answers to questions she would ask. Answers to be somewhat coded, list just to be 1-10, no explanation. Be honest with yourself, no one's going to ever know what you wrote.
A couple of those questions caused physical pain to hear. And I put down blanks for them. In a coded notebook entry, with no explaining notes, with no one ever to read said entries, I could not write down what I wanted to. Could not even bring myself to THINK what I wanted to put down.
I'm being honest now, I could not be honest with myself. Could not face the thought of committing those answers, however vague or hidden to paper. Hell, to thought.
I don't like that.
How am I supposed to attempt something when I can't bring myself to even think it?
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