Introspective

You ever run into those individuals with whom interaction is like pushing two N poles of a magnet together? They have a repulsive aura?

I knew a guy like that.

I'll call him Pat, but only because I refuse to use the name I really call him.

He made my first semester of college nearly unbearable. He was a complete and utter idiot, who was convinced he was knowledgeable on every subject. He talked loudly and at length about nothing worth the breath, and by the time the semester ended, he was known to the class as "The ****-head." Running into him from time to time since then, he's flaunted his great success in the computer world, despite the fact that he looks like a dirty drunk (and I'm convinced that he is), and his clothes are a monument to dirt and sweat stains.

There's a girl who frequents the bookshelves directly behind my department. She is, honest to God, the most beautiful woman I've ever seen. I can walk through all our music and movies and not pick out anyone more attractive on any of the covers.

Not making any statements regarding my own state of mind here, just putting out there an objective, observable fact. She's far and away more good looking than anyone I've ever dated (or tried to), and that's kinda hard, IMHO.

I see and hear she's getting talked up by some guy tonight.

Heck, I'll let you make the inference here.

Pat.

Listening to their conversation, I was amazed. She's of of his league by like, 42 levels, and he was perfectly at ease. He picked a complete stranger who was out of his league, and by the time they parted company, he'd come away with her address, email, and place of work.

He picked at her weaknesses, got her kinda sad, tried several different angles into the conversation (religion, and when that didn't work, New-Ageism, which did), changed his language and behavior to match hers...he completely and utterly manipulated her.

I know this guy's a jack***. Everyone else who's met him does too. But...dang. I was impressed.

And then I got to thinking. That ain't a good thing.

If Pat, who's a jack*** can do this, why can't I? What I mean by that is, if someone truly obnoxious and repulsive can talk up anyone far above their station in life with ease, can be totally comfortable where any sane person should be embarrassed, why aren't I able to? Why do I struggle with certain human interactions? How come I, who have far better people skills, am unable to manipulate people like that?

I often joke to my friends that I need to re-evaluate my life.

I think I do.