Random Reflections Pt11

41. Please, for your own sake, never cough while drinking orange juice. You won’t be able to breathe for about a minute, you’ll cough violently for fifteen minutes, and your throat will taste like vomit for at least twice that long. Please, just don’t.

42. It may sound contrary to already posted Reflections, but I really don’t care if you’re overweight. Like Jefferson said about religion – “It neither picks my pocket nor breaks my leg.” Long as you’re happy with your life, so am I. I just get a little torqued when you blame someone or something other than yourself for being overweight. As long as we all accept responsibility for our lives, everything’s cool.

43. I can understand 15 MPH speed limits around elementary schools. You never know which screaming, insensible critter is going to follow their own inner voice and do a nose-dive into the street.Around middle and high schools however…it’s a different story. You should’ve learned that the big, fast things can hurt you. Lowering the speed limit is an insult to both our intelligences, and it’s being unfair to Mr. Darwin.

44. A group in Wisconsin, the benighted state in which I live (but far more intelligent, legislatively, than CA or most of the east coast) is pointing to Cuba’s mandatory HIV testing as the reason for their low HIV/AIDS problem, and proposing that a similar program be adopted here.

These mush-minded despots actually seem to be gaining some Congressional traction in Madison. And according to the call-in show on Wisconsin Public Radio, everyone else in the state thinks it’s a good idea.

NO! Absolutely NO! You do NOT make criminals of people based on their unwillingness to submit to medical testing. You do NOT get to do whatever you please simply because you can hoodwink a majority of the populace into accepting whatever you can justify with the excuse of public safety. You do NOT go door to door rounding people up for bloodtesting for any reason. And by god, you do NOT darken my doorstep. There’s one solution for people who demand part or all of your body, and in this case, my solution is very much like theirs’ – small pieces of metal, inserted into the skin.

45. All year long we tell kids: “Don’t take candy from strangers.” Then Halloween comes along and we tell them: “Go, take candy from strangers.” What’s up with that?