I Smell Bacon

Or: Run-Ins With The Pigs Part 2.1

So, yesterday my dad receives a letter in the mail from the Green Bay police department stating something to the effect that a car registered to him (as the head of the household) violated traffic laws and he owes $185 dollars; if you require information before we shake you down, or you wish to contest this charge, call ***-***-****. (Notice the use of the emotional-charged phrase "shake you down?" That's called fore-shadowing.)

Not having been pulled over for anything recently, every driving member of the household is a mite perplexed.

My dad calls the number and receives a rundown on the charges against one of the family members. Apparently my mom turned in front of a bus. Still no recollection of having been pulled over or charged with any form of crime. Confusion all around.

Now,given the police departments previous public relations debacle with my family (taking 11 minutes to respond to an attempted home invasion 7 years ago, taking 7 minutes to get to our house when a neighbor had a heart attack (despite the standard presense of four black and whites in the area), and sending 3 B&Ws, an unmarked, and 4 armed, vested up pigs to arrest my brother for fireworks ten days before the 4th, when resounding explosions could be heard all night long for 3 weeks prior), you can probably guess that this is about to take a bad turn. It takes a lot to awe me when it comes to government incompetence, disinterest, or downright malicious behavior slash law.

I have been suitably awed.

Seems no cop was ever involved, no traffic citation ever issued, no crime ever recorded, no one ever charged. See, the bus driver wrote down the license plate, submitted it to the police department with a complaint, and without so much as sending one of the boys in blue over to get a statement, the city proceeded to charge our family nearly $200.

Without taking a statement.

Without charging anyone with a crime.

Without informing anyone of the charges against them before levying punishment.

All on one person's say so.

Because we called, were polite, and decided to cooperate, they've generously lowered the fine for the unsubstantiated, undocumented crime by $100.

Let me see if I can lay this all out in plain language, in case there's any miscommunication leading to misunderstanding here: A bus driver can write down the license plate number of any car on the road, submit it to the police with a complaint about the driver's conduct, no investigation is ever performed, no communication is innitiated, and then based on one person's word, an unsuspecting person can be fined nearly $200.

Now, does that seem...I don't know...right? Just? The way a fair and equitable government should conduct its business?

Stay tuned for breaking developments in "I Smell Bacon:Run Ins With The Pigs Pt2!"